Baby

I’ve been thinking about the word baby. It used to remind me of something cute and helpless, that required more attention and care giving than it gave back in reward. People say a project at work or their car is their baby, and I assumed that was because of investment. Then they were protective because someone else might mess up the results of their time, money or sweat “baby”.

Now that I have Julia I find myself wondering if others use the word like I used to, or if I’ve previously understood at only a high level what they were saying.

If Julia cries or begins to fuss in someone else’s arms, I reach for her and say, ba-ay-bee. All investments up to that moment fade away and 100% of my goals and intentions are to determine what the problem is and remedy it right away. I don’t have any mental capacity left for thoughts like “But I rocked/fed/entertained her yesterday”. She is suddenly this beautiful creature vulnerable to the world, becoming sadder by the second, and in need of soothing. She is young, sensitive, and trying her best to navigate the waters of our home and lives.

She is our baby, and the word has become deeper and more impactful to me since we had her. She is fragile and we want nothing more than to protect and nurture her, and watch her blossom. My pride in her development has nothing to do with expectations or investments. It is pure encompassing love.

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